What Men Having Babies San Francisco Revealed About the Future of Ethical Surrogacy in Mexico City
Last weekend at Men Having Babies in San Francisco, I left feeling two things at once: encouraged and challenged.
Encouraged, because the response to My Surrogacy Journey was extraordinary. Our stand was busy from start to finish. We had thoughtful, emotional, deeply human conversations with intended parents who are not asking for luxury or shortcuts. They are asking for what Wes and I once asked for ourselves: a safe, supported, ethical and realistic path to building a family.
Challenged, because it was also clear that some professionals in the room still hold a warped and outdated view of surrogacy in Mexico City, and by extension, of the work we are doing at MSJ.
The good news: intended parents can feel the difference
What stood out most was how strongly intended parents responded to transparency.
They asked smart questions. They wanted detail. They wanted honesty about risk, process, legal protection, screening, support and outcomes. And when they heard how we have built our USA-Mexico City pathway, they understood something important very quickly: MSJ is not trying to squeeze into an old model. We are trying to help build a better one.
That matters, because too many people still talk about Mexico as though every provider is the same. It is simply not true.
The problem: Mexico is still being judged by its worst actors
Let me be clear. There have been bad operators in Mexico. Families have been misled. Intended parents have lost money, trust and precious time. Surrogates and donors have not always been treated with the dignity and protection they deserve.
That history is real. It should not be ignored.
But it is also not the full story.
What frustrates me is when that history is used to flatten every ethical, serious, accountable provider into the same category. That is not caution. That is inaccuracy.
MSJ was built in response to those failures, not in imitation of them.
Why MSJ is different
As founders, Wes and I did not enter this work to sell a cheaper version of surrogacy. We entered it because we know personally how vulnerable family building can make you feel, and how badly people need honest guidance.
We have built MSJ around the principles we believe this industry should have always centred:
– rigorous screening
– legal structure and accountability
– transparency over sales tactics
– real support for intended parents, surrogates and donors
– respect for lived experience
– a belief that access and ethics must exist together
I have spent more than a decade as a surrogacy and fertility activist pushing for safer practice, better education and more honest conversations. So when I hear Mexico discussed as though it is inherently beyond credibility, I do not just hear commercial bias. I hear a failure of imagination and, at times, a failure of fairness.
The deeper issue: who gets to build a family?
There is a question underneath all of this that our sector does not confront often enough.
If ethical surrogacy is only treated as legitimate when it comes with a U.S. price tag, what are we really saying to the vast majority of intended parents?
Because for many people, especially LGBTQ+ families, the issue is not whether they would prefer the U.S. model. The issue is whether they will ever get the chance to become parents at all.
That is why this conversation matters so much.
The future of ethical surrogacy cannot belong only to those who can afford the most expensive route. It has to include responsible, transparent, well-governed international pathways too.
Why the time for Mexico City is now
Mexico City deserves to be judged on what is being built now, not only on what went wrong before.
The intended parents we met in San Francisco were not naive. They were informed, thoughtful and careful. They wanted facts, not fear. They wanted nuance, not lazy assumptions. And they could see that there is a profound difference between a market with bad actors in it and a provider actively working to raise the standard.
That is where MSJ stands.
We are proud of the conversations we had in San Francisco. Proud of the questions. Proud of the scrutiny. Proud, too, that when people looked closely, they saw substance behind the message.
Men Having Babies was, overall, a positive experience. But it also reminded me that part of leadership in this space is being willing to challenge outdated narratives, even when they are repeated by respected voices.
Because families deserve better than stigma. Surrogates deserve better than suspicion. And Mexico City deserves better than to be defined by people who have not taken the time to understand what ethical leadership there can look like.
For us, this is not about defending Mexico blindly. It is about helping ethical surrogacy in Mexico shine, responsibly, transparently and unapologetically.
And that time is now.
To read more information about our Mexico City pathway click here
